three am
I wake up in the middle of the night and I think about...
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I’m packing because we’re flying to Mexico tomorrow. I’m torn between minimalism and my old habits (just in case—it’ll definitely come in handy!). Suddenly, Mia’s camera caught my eye. You know, that little camera for toddlers. Mia loves taking pictures, and we already have about 600 in this camera. About 50 of them are different shots of her favorite unicorn, another 37 are feet, shoes, weird frames—you know how it is. But there are also plenty of beautiful and sweet…
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There is no better feeling in the world than the act of creation. When time gets suspended and you keep going. When you revise something 120 times to make it the best it can be. When you search for hours for the perfect solution, when your blood is boiling with emotion, fatigue, excitement, terror, and anticipation all at once. That’s how it was with this documentary. Since last September, I’ve been attending community college classes on editing and filmmaking. I’ve…
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Today’s thought was prompted by a lack. Specifically, a lack of ketchup. I have no idea how to spell ketchup in Polish (katchup, keczap?), so I’m writing as it sounds. I’m currently in a huge craving phase for zapiekanka -Polish cheese bread with mushrooms. For some time now I’ve been trying different breads, cheeses, and methods to make the perfect zapiekanka. Of course, you can’t make one as perfect as the one from Lussi at 3 a.m. near Central Station in Warsaw, but…
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Today, as I was scrolling instagram I saw an app dedicated to learn new, sophisticated words. It looked so tempting and visually beautiful so I downloaded and installed it. I was imagining how cool is it going to be to see and learn words from my wallpaper screen every day. I went through the installation process. It asked me all the questions about my level of English, my esthetics preferences, my interests, I even chose the voice and accent to…
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I have excess everywhere… In the fridge, I buy stuff, I don’t have time to eat them all, I throw them away…In the closet, I buy stuff, then I clean them out, give them away, make space, and then it fills up again…In toys, I don’t even know when I’m buying them, or others are buying them, and suddenly there’s nowhere to put them, I’m constantly going through them, and they just keep growing… In my head…this one is the…
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Christmas has always been an important time of year for me. Especially since I left Poland (14 years ago), Christmas dinner and cooking give me a sense of warmth, closeness, and connection to my identity, which strengthens me every time. Over the years, much of my Polishness has faded away. I had to question, abandon, and change a lot to become who I am now. But Christmas dinner is a must for me. For years, I have been organizing and…
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I love that meme Over the past few weeks, I’ve been enjoying coffee less and less. It doesn’t hit like it used to. This is a huge surprise because I love coffee. I drink two cups of coffee a day, quite strong, and I have it ingrained in my mind that this is what gets me through the day. I’ve been ignoring this feeling because, after all, how can you live without coffee? What can replace it? Coffee is a…
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The time has come. As I browse the internet in search of gifts to make my loved ones happy, I find myself thinking that it used to be so much easier to do gifts. How ironic. Now, when the choice is unlimited and you can buy anything, personalize it, and tailor it to your needs, I find it increasingly more difficult. And for some reason, I seem to be enjoying it less and less. What went wrong? First of all,…
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It’s 3 a.m. again. I wake up from my dream. It’s one of those dreams that you experience very intensely. It starts like this: I want to apply to film school, somewhere in an important city in the U.S. I arrive alone. I stay in a room with two young girls who are already studying at this university. They are great, fun and creative. We hit it off right away. They tell me that I will definitely get in. I…
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Three am, or maybe five. Who knows what time it is, anyway? I go to the bathroom and suddenly the silence hits me. Maybe for some people it’s not an obvious silence, because there’s no real silence on a plane, with the noise of the engines, the opening and closing of the hatches, the trolley rolling around, a baby crying. Yes, a baby. Or rather, the lack of one. I can feel with every fiber of my being that there…
