Gift

The time has come. As I browse the internet in search of gifts to make my loved ones happy, I find myself thinking that it used to be so much easier to do gifts. How ironic. Now, when the choice is unlimited and you can buy anything, personalize it, and tailor it to your needs, I find it increasingly more difficult. And for some reason, I seem to be enjoying it less and less. What went wrong?

First of all, the choice. Obviously, the more choice there is, the greater the pressure. The pressure to find the perfect gift. Surely there is something better, more beautiful, more stylish, at a better price, etc. Hours spent researching only fuel feelings of guilt and the awareness that somewhere, there will always be something better.

But let’s say I’ve found it. I have a good gift. Now what? Why doesn’t it make me as happy as it used to?

I can’t help but think that since gift shopping moved online and depends on the number of websites and accounts browsed, we’ve lost something. When I think back to how my friends and I used to give each other gifts, the best part of each gift was the story behind it. How did this gift appear or not appear? At least six people were usually directly (and many more indirectly) involved in coming up with, searching for, and bringing the gift. There was always some kind of mishap, something always went wrong, there was always a story. And if there was a fuckup, and the gift didn’t arrive on time (which was often the case), at least there was a good story to go with it.

But such a story and all background preparation, can only be possible if things happen here and now. When you go to the store, the store closes in 5 minutes and you can’t buy anything anymore, you beg the salesperson to take your order, you call other stores, you search, you try, as other people recognize your commitment, they also get involved, we turn various systems upside down just to make it happen NOW, because the birthday is in an hour. And so, the gift, or at least the good story is being made, which is basically the ost important part of a gift. Time, commitment, stress, laughter, a whole wave of adrenaline and emotions, and all this for the person who is important to us. As I see it, this is the best gift.

I think about this because I feel that buying and receiving gifts brings me less and less happiness. Not because they are completely inappropriate, but precisely because they come from clicks, and these take something away from us. What do I value most in gifts? The important and best gifts, the ones I like the most, are those that establish and reinforce something in a relationship at a given moment. They reflect what our relationship is, they reinforce what brings us closer together. It can be laughter, tenderness, intellectual exchange, sports, art, spiritual connection, etc. Whatever it is, it is ours, and the gift strengthens us as in this commitment. That is why I like giving gifts even more than receiving them. Because for me, it is a moment of reflection and truth.

The moment when I devote my time to someone, and the moment to think about what that person means to me now, and what our relationship is based on? What connects us now and keeps us together? Of course, this is in an ideal world. When you have time and energy for everything, and you can only do things that are important, necessary, and profound. In practice, click, click. But I leave this reflection here to remember what is important to me and why giving gifts used to bring me more joy, and I miss that feeling.